In My Experience by An Over Scheduling Mom & Banana Chocolate ChipMuffins
It's not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves, that will make them successful human beings.
Ann Landers
So, I
don’t normally do this.
I know I
am going to piss people off. I might even piss off my friends and family. L
But I
have to say something. I feel like I have to stand up for myself and others
like me.
DISCLAIMER***
This is from my experience only. Nothing discussed here has been proven or is
considered right by anyone other than myself. It is just my experience which
therefore has led me to this path of becoming an evil parent that over schedules
my children ;)
I have
read article after article about the negatives of over scheduling our children.
They will get stressed out and "they need free time to just be
children."
Apparently
kids that play soccer AND dance aren't having fun and aren't being children.
Jeeze where do those poor kids even find the time to be stressed?
I hear
and read all the pros of scheduling our kids and the cons of over scheduling
our kids. There are way more cons out there. It is like we have to apologize to
the world for teaching our kids the art of time management. It is just like
when we decided to use cloth diapers. I had to defend my decision or justify it
to almost everyone I met!!!
Seriously.
Making a
conscience effort to make less waste, spend less money and use less harmful
chemicals on our baby's bum led to being ostracized by new & old friends.
For example, when HBear was 9 months old we went to library group for babies.
We had just moved here and I was hoping to meet some new Mommies. When the
ladies got to talking about diapers and I mentioned cloth… Well let’s
just say I didn’t make any new friends.
Ninja and
I talked about raising kids waaaaay before we had kids. We really thought about
things. We have revisited some of the same issues repeatedly and some even
recently LOL.
I do NOT
want to put my likes, dislikes, fears and dreams onto my children.
With that
being said… I am a scheduler, a planner, a multitasker. I think this is an
asset. I don’t think this just comes naturally. I think that it takes practice
and skill. I hope to help my girls become organized and scheduled. I feel this
will help them become successful in all aspects of their lives… And I want my
girls to be successful in life, to be happy. In whatever it is they want
to do, from janitor to musician, to pilot, to Dr. From plumber to mechanic to
dance teacher to politician. As long as they do it to the best of their ability
and they are happy.
This fall
the girls are busy, HBear is in Yoga, Swimming, Acro Jazz, Guitar, the Gifted
Program, Broadway and Brownies.
SBean is
in Music, Soccer, Strong Start and Swimming.
There are
some things I find to be a necessity in life. We live between 2 lakes. I think
it is necessary to learn how to swim. PLUS as my LunchBesty made me realize,
lifeguards are needed everywhere. If you are a good swimmer and carry it
through until the end, you can get a job anywhere you live. Bonus!
What it all
comes down to is…
Being
involved.
Involved
with school, activities, friends, work... having ties and responsibilities to
something and someone else other than just yourself. It is about enjoying all
the opportunities that are out there and having the confidence to take
advantage of the opportunities presented to you. Of course I believe studying
is important. HBear does "homework" every night.
I made her a journal of opened ended creative questions. She writes a
little bit every evening. However, everything in life needs balance and I
hope that by introducing her to music, art, sports, and meditation that she
will be able to have likes and a life outside of the fictitious world of her
books.
I was an
active kid. I formed bonds. I felt like I belonged. I gained confidence and I
wasn't really angry at the world because I felt there were opportunities for me
in it. In this day and age with suicide on the rise and girls on social
networks disrespecting themselves, I want my girls to feel like a bigger part
of the picture.
Some
people may think that it easier to just put the kids into activities and drop
them off.
Wrong.
Ask any
hockey mom up at 5 AM on the weekends if that is easier. Ask the dance moms
that sits in the studio hours upon hours a week. That sew sequins on bodysuits
after the kids are in bed, the dishes are done, and lunches for the next day
are made. Ask her if it's easier!
Yes, it
is hard to be in the van all the time, driving kids to activities. Yes, it is
crazy expensive. Yes, I have to learn about sashays, back walkovers, the breast
stroke, the Brownie Promise, the lyrics to every Julie Andrews musical, what a
fret is, how to feather kick a ball, AND the ABC's of yoga poses but to me it
is worth it.
So to sum
it up...
1. Activites = good. Pushing your kids to be the best = bad.
Just because my kids are in scheduled activities does not mean I expect them to
be the best or excel at these programs. Do I think HBear is going to be a
Broadway Star? No. Does she think she is? No. Does she have a blast learning
songs from Peter Pan and The Sound of Music? You bet!
2. If the kids show a dislike for the activity, they do not
have to go back into it. But, they have to finish it. We do not end an activity
in the middle, you must see it through until the end. This is a fact of life
and everyone should learn that responsibility is yours and yours alone.
3. I always make sure they are smiling! Last year HBear barely smiled
throughout dance class. I sat down and talked to her about it. She said it
wasn't fun anymore. She missed her old teacher but liked her
dance friends. We all chose to move our girls to a new studio that
provided the girls with their favorite teacher and a new fun
program. If she doesn't like it at the end of the year, we can try
something new :)
4. You know your kids best. Pick what will work for them.
Perhaps your child is shy. Perhaps, acting class would help him or her come out
of their shell. Perhaps your child loves to play badminton in the backyard.
Perhaps some tennis lessons are in order :) Your child is just like you, you
like to socialize with people with similar interests... find those groups for
your kids. Help them make good friends early on and develop ties to
them throughout the years.
5. There is no better relationship than the ones made in your
very own home. Although we are very scheduled, our weekends are free. They are
free for family. We are done our activities early enough in the evening to get
in take home reading... together and have some cuddle time :)
6. I also participate in activities. I believe that if the
girls and their friends know me, they will be less likely to get into trouble
later on. My Mom volunteered in all my activities and whenever we were about to
do something stupid, even my friends said “what would Kathy say?” LOL Other
parents knew my Mom. Their kids were allowed at our house. They told my parents
if they saw me doing something I shouldn’t have been doing. Already when
I go to school I hear kids yell “Hi Mrs. M!” They respect me and know me. They
will be less likely to treat my daughter badly if they feel like they know her
and her family.
7. Busy minds are happy minds! I believe that by keeping active
and social, there will less time to breed doubt and get into trouble. I found
even when I used to smoke as a teenager… it was when I was bored. By staying
active you keep boredom out of their lives and hopefully keep them out of
trouble and making bad decisions. I would do anything that I think might
have the slightest chance of keeping my girls healthy in mind, body and
spirit.
8. Being involved in different activities allows your kids to
fail. Obviously they can't be good at everything LOL so by going into a program
that they may find fun but may not be very good at will teach kids. It will
teach them how to practice, fail, and gain the confidence to take the time and
get better at something. In the end this will give them pride and a sense of
accomplishment.
9. I am not judging you. If this is not your belief and you
choose to raise your children differently, I don't necessarily think your kids
are headed for a needle and jail LOL. In fact, I knew kids that were involved
that still got into trouble later in life. I also have wonderful friends that
weren't really involved in after school activities at all and became happy,
contributing adults with wonderful families of their own. I am not saying that
I am right. I am saying that when I take a step back and look at the people I
grew up with, I can loosely categorize them and see a trend. Through the
wonderful use of critical thinking and extrapolation, I believe my theory to
true. I guess my kids are the true experiment LOL.
10. Keep in mind... We did this to ourselves. Our kids are
growing up in a world that is fast paced and scheduled. We need to prepare them
for this. Yes, I remember playing outside by myself... It sucked. Maybe you
remember it differently than me but I remember whining to my Mom that I was
bored and her and her friends would all laugh and tell me to go outside and
play. Parenting is no longer like this. We over parent, over compensate and
over schedule. This is the way it is in 2015. There is a book telling us how to
do everything! An article weighing out every parenting style. Everyone is
watching and everyone is commenting. We can't go backwards so the only thing we
can do is equip our children with the necessary tools to live the
best life they can.
So that
when they grow up they too can fuck up their kids lives like we have :)
Last week
SBean and I made muffins! I am so happy she is old enough to start actively
participating in the kitchen :) Ninja and SBean are signed up to take a cooking
class together next month! They don't get to spend much 1 on 1
time together and I am super excited they get to hang out together. It
will definitely be... interesting BAHAHAHA
Banana
Chocolate Chip Muffins
Adapted
from Gather for Bread
½
cup margarine
¾
cup sugar
1
egg
1
teaspoon vanilla
2
tablespoons sour cream
2
cups flour
1
teaspoon baking soda
½
teaspoon salt
¼
teaspoon cinnamon
1
cup mashed banana, about 3 small or 2 medium
1
cup chocolate chips
2
tablespoons cinnamon sugar
Preheat
oven to 350. Grease muffin tins or line with cupcake liners.
Mix
together butter and sugar until creamy.
Beat in egg and vanilla.
Mix
in mashed banana and sour cream until well blended.
Add
flour, baking soda, salt and cinnamon until well combined.
***SBean
turned on the mixer at the highest speed LOL the flour FLEW everywhere. It was
wonderful watching her reaction to the mess LOL
Stir
in chocolate chips.
Spoon
batter into prepared muffin tin. Fill almost to the top. This will make for
nice rounded tops. Sprinkle with cinnamon sugar.
Bake
for about 21 minutes or until toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.
Cool on a wire rack.
Labels:
banana muffins,
Schedule
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