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It's OK NOT to Be OK & Cinnamon Rolls


When you have tough times, and when you learn you can't be perfect in every situation, it's hard to accept, you know, because I still do expect that. But you just have to, because, you know, it's not about the situation. It's how you deal with it. You always have a choice.

Ana Ivanovic

Today has been officially 47 days of practicing social distancing and we are now on day 23 of learning from home.

This is hard.

Everyday I post pictures, videos and boomerangs. I let my family know how we are doing, I promote the Girl's dance studio, and I keep a video log of how COVID-19 is affecting us. I keep records so that I will ALWAYS remember these uncertain times.

But not everything makes it into my daily updates, my blog, or the podcast. 

I usually try to keep it upbeat.

I don't go into the panic attacks I have when I actually think about what may happen in the future. I don't comment on the days when I am so angry at people and their misinformed views. I don't talk about my disappointment in some Canadians that are using this time to draw political lines in the (oil)sand. I don't compliment my government for the amazing job they are doing for the people of Canada for fear of arguing with naysayers. I don't lash out at the people that call this pandemic a hoax or whine that they can't go out. I don't whisper my fears for the future and how we are going to face this again if we don't change what we are doing and start looking after the global population as a whole rather than as individual countries. I don't tell anyone when I cry. When I'm scared. When I feel like a parenting failure. When I'm too tired from the emotional toll of the day to be a good wife. When I want to cover my head in my bed and NOT try to play teacher to my kids who are squabbling in the next room... where they have been for 5 weeks. I haven't even had time to really understand the weight of all that has happened. To take it all in. 

2020 has been Cray-Cray! I mean remember how we were all horrified that Australia was up in flames? Yeah, that was like 3 months ago!!!! Kobe? Yup. Harry and Meghan gave up their Royal titles, Trump got acquitted in the Senate, we hovered on the brink of WWIII when the US assassinated Iranian General Soleimani, and in retaliation Iran "accidentally" shot down a plane killing all 176 on board including 57 Canadians. Yeah that happened too. Locusts invaded Eastern Africa in the worst outbreak in over 70 years, The Taal Volcano erupted in the Philippines forcing 135 000 people from their homes, Turkey had a major earthquake and Kashmir had the largest snowfall in over 100 years killing more than 100 people. Indonesia was flooded, Brexit was finalized, AND it is rumoured that the Supreme Ruler of North Korea has died leading the world to believe that soon we will have what may be the first female dictator in modern history. Yeah we have had all that PLUS we have lived through the very sad news about Canada's largest mass murders that devastated Nova Scotia this past weekend. Oh and don't forget COVID-19!

All  in the past 4 months!

I have a Facebook group where I challenge the group to monthly exercise programs on a daily basis. This past month I have focused on mental health rather than physical challenges. I want everyone to know that it is OK not to be OK. I think it is important that I take that advice too. This is hard. There is no right way or wrong way to do this. Everyone is doing what they have to just to get through this unprecedented time.  

The Girls have been up and down lately. SBean has been even more stubborn, angry and defiant than usual. She is a 7 year old girl with big emotions and she doesn't quite know how to deal/release them. I don't blame her, some days I don't either. HBear is 11 and she is moody, quiet and distant lately. She is sad that summer is going to look drastically different. She loves summer, she is truly an Okanagan lifestyle type of gal. She wants to see her friends. She wants to see family that she counts on seeing every summer. She misses Nana. A lot. So do I.

I so badly wish my Mom was here. Maybe even more so since I went from seeing my Dad every single day, living in the same house, to chats 6 meters away every few days.  Maybe even more so now that I'm living in our new house. Somewhere she envisioned but has never been in. In a way, I am also happy that she isn't here for this mess. She had an autoimmune disease and a stubborn steak. There is no way I would have been able to keep her in the house during this pandemic and I would have 1 more humungous thing on my plate, worrying about her. May is always a tough month for me. However, I usually have work, volunteering, projects on the go, and the spring sunshine that hits my face and instantly gives me energy. I feel heavy with realization that I have nothing to take my mind off the memories of what happened over these next 2 months just 7 years ago. Ugh. I can't go there right now. I have too much on my plate. I can't imagine the pain that people losing loved ones right now are feeling! There is so much going on it is impossible to compartmentalize everything. It is so hard to file pain away into a mental drawer in the back of your mind labelled "Open When You Can Handle It."

I guess what I'm saying is everyone is handling these challenges differently and although some people might stick to positive posts, that doesn't mean that they aren't struggling or feeling the weight of history on their shoulders. We are all in this together ❤️.

Ninja and I have done a lot of podcasting in the past few weeks! It is a favourite hobby of ours and we have met so many great people through in the indy podcasting world. This week Ninja put out episode 2 of his Our Liner Podcast featuring our RADBesty and me talking about the amazing band, U2. Check it out HERE.



‪Check out How Was Your Week, Honey? ep.168 Detachable Penis HERE 
This week I vent some frustrations from the outside world. Topics include deep freeze, catching a skunk, fun neighbourhoods, crime, Doug Ford, reality check, Fluevog hate, and Nova Scotia.



My Mom tried making cinnamon buns when I was a kid and no matter how many times she tries, no matter what the recipe, they all turned out the same way. Like hockey pucks. Hard and completely unappealing 😂. They were terrible. No they were horrendous! We love cinnamon buns but they take a lot of time to make. Time is what we have right now so we tried our hand at a simpler version of a cinnamon bun, the cinnamon roll. YUMMMMMM. Like seriously these turned out so well! They obviously take time but even me, who is an self admitted abysmal baker, came through and made these without any problems. HBear helped a ton and they were light, fluffy and delicious!

Cinnamon Rolls
Adapted from Sally's Baking Addiction

2 and 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1 packet yeast
1/2 cup whole milk
1/4 cup water
3 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 large egg


Filling
3 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened to room temperature
1 tablespoon ground cinnamon

1/4 cup raisins (or however many you like)
1/4 cup brown sugar

Icing
1 cup icing sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
2–3 tablespoons milk

Whisk the flour, sugar, salt, and yeast together in a large bowl. Set aside.



Combine the milk, water, and butter together in a heatproof bowl. Microwave until the butter is melted and the mixture is warm to touch (about 110°F). Pour into the dry ingredients, add the egg, and use your mixer until it forms a soft dough.

Using your dough hook on your mixer, knead the dough for 3 minutes. Place in a lightly greased bowl, cover loosely, and let rest for about 10 minutes.



 

After 10 minutes, roll the dough out in a 14×8 inch rectangle.



 



Spread the softened butter on top. Mix together the cinnamon and sugar. Sprinkle it all over the dough and then sprinkle the raisins on top.





Roll up the dough tightly. Cut into 10-12 even rolls and arrange in a lightly greased 9-inch round cake pan or pie dish.





Tightly cover the rolls with aluminum foil or plastic wrap and allow to rise in a warm, draft-free environment for 60-90 minutes. 
I heated the oven to 150°F. Turned it off. Covered the rolls and placed them inside. I left the oven door cracked open for about 30 minutes, then shut it closed.



After the rolls have doubled in size, preheat the oven to 375°F (make sure to take the rising dough out first!). Bake for 25-28 minutes until lightly browned. If you notice the tops are getting too brown too quickly, loosely cover the rolls with aluminum foil and continue baking.



*I forgot to take a picture when they were warm and frosted. I took a picture the next day with chilled frosting. Not the best picture but seriously the BEST taste!




Make the icing: Whisk the icing sugar, vanilla, and milk together. Drizzle or spread over warm rolls. 




  

 

Another week of Social Distancing and Learning From Home! Monday was tough. Nobody felt like doing school. SBean and I have allergies that are hitting us hard. Ninja spent the day cleaning up the backyard and getting it ready for the summer. We did school, participated in Crazy Socks week at dance, I did stretch and strength with HBear and her dance class, I had my first video DPAC meeting, Ninja finished another puzzle, SBean had another FaceTime playdate with SweetPea and HBear had an online appointment with her teacher. We had Spirit Day on Friday and everyone wore their pj's to school and we supported local by ordering dinner from one of our favourites, Flambé Catering! It was wonderful to see friendly faces when they delivered our dinner especially for HBear because the chef's partner is her choir teacher and she has really missed her this past month. I also received wonderful handmade gifts from my nieces and my InLaws ❤️. We took it easy on Saturday and built forts, watched Netflix and Ninja made a delicious roast beef dinner for the family to enjoy. We ended the week with a social distancing walk with Grandma and Grandpa. 










 









 
















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