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Maple-Glazed Pork Tenderloin... EPIC FAIL!!!!

SBean 0oooohhhhhhhh SBean.

What can I say about her? Actually, the question is more like what's not to say about her? LOL. With her birthday coming up I begin to reflect a little. I know a lot of people start getting that baby urge at this point and I can honestly say... not a freaking chance in hell am I getting any urge! When I see babies I want to run for the hills! 

Seriously though, my cousin is getting married in the summer so she will have a baby soon :) I hope and I mean really really hope that my sister will have another one soon too and give my SweetPea a brother or sister. No matter how scared I was of another horrifying labor, sleepless nights, potty training, teething,or any of that stuff... We just wanted to give HBear everything. We wanted to give her a sibling. 

I have to say it was the best decision we ever made. SBean completes our family. She is affectionate and smart and loving and funny and for the majority of the day and absolute joy to be around. 

With that being said OMG SBean OMG. 

Yesterday I was putting in an order with a friend at Epicure and I guess it is a pretty big order and she said "for the total... that will be your first born" and just as I typed "hey want to take my second?" she texted back and said "... and no I don't want your second born!" LOL. 

I get it. I mean she's a handful. The man that she sets her sights on well, his fate is already sealed. BAHAHAHAHAHA

When I think back to those first 3 days in the hospital it was so quiet and peaceful, we just sat there and bonded. Ninja and HBear, my in-laws, my Dad, all came to visit of course Mom couldn't because she was doing chemo, but for the most part it was so...


And now almost 2 years later a typical day go something like this...

This morning I looked at the clock and it was 6:07 and I thought WOW a sleep-in! I thought to soon apparently because at 6:11 I heard at the top of her lungs a scream and "I STINKY! I STINKY! I STINKY!"

The Bean was awake. 

I walked in and she was standing in the middle of her crib... just in her diaper, which she was trying to rip off because it was very saggy, it was really really full of shit. She had one earring ripped out, her blanket, Elmo, her Blanky and her water bottle (all things she NEEDS to go to sleep) were on the floor and she was screaming at the top of her lungs.

Oh and from her eyebrows to her chin she was dripping in bright green snot!

At this point I look up to the top bunk to see if HBear is miraculously still sleeping through this literal shit show. Believe it or not... she's not LOL

"Mommy" she croaks, "is it a school day today? Is it day or is it night still?" "It is still night HoneyBear go back to sleep."

As I clean SBean up I try to remind her what an indoor voice sounds like. She just doesn't get it. Really. Everything as is at the highest volume. Everything is at a 10, there's no medium, there's no quiet, there's no library voice, there's no whisper, everything is loud.

Her stages are like this,

When she's content... she's pretty loud.

When she's happy... she's very loud.

When she's excited... she's ear-piercing loud. 

When she's mad... she's deafeningly loud.

It's funny because on my Mom's side, her mom's family (my Nana's) has the crazy gene, I inherited that :) But on my Mom's Dad's side (my Poppy's) 1 out of every 3 are very very loud. They have foghorn voices as we like to say.

Take for example my Uncle Ken he's a quiet, mild-mannered man on the other hand is my Uncle Robin. Incredibly loud. It's funny because when we were in Calgary this summer SBean was even louder than usual at my Uncle Ken's very quiet and serene house. I mean they have a tinkling beautiful fountain and a meditation area!!! SBean was visibly uncomfortable LOL. 

Then we went to Edmonton and we got to my Uncle Robin's house and right away he took her from my arms and I was like "oh no she's not gonna go to you!" and he looked at me like I was crazy and said "what do you mean we're buddies!" and she never left his arms really the entire time?!?!?! It was like their house with 4 dogs, his booming voice and rambunctious grandchildren all of the place was somewhere she felt totally at ease with. She was totally at home lol... It's all very telling LOL. 

Needless to say I took SBean  into our room hoping that HBear would get a bit more sleep. Of course by this point HBear was up and wanted to know where the party was and apparently it was in our bed. 

Yep, that's how the mornings usually start.

Loud, full of poop and early.

And then of course it's breakfast time where she proceeds to lick off all of the peanut butter and jam off of her toast and throw each piece onto the floor. 

You would think by these actions that she's not hungry but that would be a mistake. She must be hungry why else would she go into her bedroom open up the diaper drawer and pull out the honkin' container of Vaseline and shove it up her nose, and rub it all over the floor and eat it but the handful?

We haven't left the house in 3 days because we have both been so sick. So today we went out window shopping wink wink. :) We were at Winners and I was singing She'll be coming around the Mountain and the little shit bit me!

I screamed and twacked her in the cheek an old lady was walking by and I think she wanted to call child services on me but SBean just cackled. 

When we got home for lunch I made her a wrap and strawberries. It is 1 of her favorites but will she eat it? No. It is impossible to get any kind of meat into her. I have to sneak it in and trick her. One of the ladies from my HotLunch Crew sent me a care package today of tea and all these amazing clothes, you see she has 3 daughters and amazing taste and her newest bundle of "joy" is a little boy so my kids reap the benefits. :) Anyways, I turn away for 20 seconds to go through the box and when I looked back she has the entire wrap ripped apart and it's raining chicken and lettuce and cheese all through the dining room.

It is so freaking nap time. 

Other things she does that make me shake my head...

1. She hides behind the bathroom door sucking on MY toothbrush. Always MY toothbrush.

2. She LOVES picking up the toilet brush and spattering the water driplets all over the wall.

3. She take off her shoes AND socks every time we are in the van. 1 time I had a little Keen hit me in the side of my head. You see having kids is DISTRACTED DRIVING!!!

4. She climbs over the gate and goes up onto HBear's loft bed. She then proceeds to call "Moooommmmyyyy" and when I come racing in she tries to grab  the chandelier just to see me freak out!

5. She takes apart my tupperware closet at least 2 times a day.

6. Every night after dinner she goes under the sink and gets out the little broom and then crawls under the table to "sweep" really she just brushes her teeth and hair with the gross broom!

7. If I stub my toe or even sneeze she will run to me screaming "OK Mommy? OK?" When I assure her I am OK she rains kisses all over me :) OK so that's a good one but really she IS a sweetheart that just challenges us all the time sometimes :)

Tonight I am making pork tenderloin, rice and a salad with toasted almonds, strawberries and mandarin oranges... I used this dressing recipe :)

Maple-Glazed Pork Tenderloin
Adapted from Mel's Kitchen Cafe

1/2 cup pure maple syrup
1/4 cup molasses, light or mild (I used fancy... I don't think you should lol)
1/4 teaspoon smoked paprika
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 cup cornstarch
2 tablespoons sugar
1 teaspoon thyme
1 tablespoon salt
2 teaspoons black pepper
2 pork tenderloins (1 1/4 to 1 1/2 pounds each)
2 tablespoons oil

Preheat the oven to 375.

Stir 1/4 cup maple syrup, molasses, vinegar, paprika and ginger together in a liquid measuring cup and set aside.

Whisk cornstarch, sugar, thyme, salt, and black pepper in small bowl until combined. 

Pat the pork tenderloins dry with paper towels, then roll in cornstarch mixture until evenly coated on all sides. Pat or shake off the excess cornstarch.

In a skillet, heat the oil over medium-high heat. Place both tenderloins in the skillet and cook until well browned on all sides, 5-6 minutes total.

Transfer the tenderloins to a lightly greased oven-proof wire rack set in rimmed baking sheet.

Pour off any grease from the skillet and return it to medium heat. Add the syrup mixture to the skillet, scraping up any browned bits and simmer the mixture until it is reduced slightly, 1-2 minutes.

Transfer 1 1/2 tablespoons of the hot glaze to a small bowl and set aside. Using the remaining glaze, brush each tenderloin with approximately 1 tablespoon glaze.

So it was about at this point that I totally did an EPIC fail and completely burnt the sauce and pretty much turned it into a blackened Werther's original hard candy. 

I thought it was burning but I was in the middle of a great texting convo with my SIL lol so of course not thinking I tapped my finger on the sauce and....

Holy shit my finger is on fire!!!!! Omg it is like hot burning candy that has melted on to my finger and is quickly turning the skin under it into a blistering, boiling, suffocating mess!!!

Dad and Ninja came running and all I could see was black with tiny pops of white blinding light/pain. 

It looks little but the pain was BIG I assure you!
The sauce is still currently stuck in my favorite bowl! Actually Ninja raced around the kitchen cleaning, practically using a pry bar to get hardened molasses off the floor, the counter, bowls, my finger, and my new Jamie Oliver induction skillet :(

The tablespoon and a 1/2 I poured into the maple syrup hardened in a layer on top!

So now I realized that I had to come up with something for dinner quickly as the rice was almost done, my salad was done and I have these beautiful pork tenderloins browned and waiting for something to go on them. 

I got quickly got Ninja to mix:

My In a Fix Pork Tenderloins

1/4 cup of maple syrup 
1/4 cup of soy sauce 
2 tablespoons of Dijon mustard 
1 tablespoon of red wine vinegar 
1 clove of garlic, pressed

together and pour it over those tenderloins and pop them into the oven. 

It was actually quite delicious! LOL

Roast the pork for about 15-20 minutes.

Brush each tenderloin with another tablespoon glaze and continue to roast another 4-6 minutes until an instant-read thermometer inserted in thickest part of tenderloins registers 135 to 140 degrees.

Remove the baking sheet from the oven and brush the pork with the remaining glaze. Let the pork rest for 10 minutes.

While the tenderloins rest, stir the remaining 1/4 cup maple syrup into the reserved 1 1/2 tablespoons glaze (you may need to warm the reserved glaze slightly if it has thickened). Brush each tenderloin with a bit of glaze and serve with the remaining glaze.

So I put the whole recipe on here... so if anybody ever makes it please let me know how it tastes... I for one will not be trying to make this one again! 

It is now 8:03 and my SydneyBean is currently sawing logs in her crib... 

most assuredly plotting new ways to keep me on my toes tomorrow :) 

I had better get to bed,




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