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Hello???? McFly???? I repeat, Are you F***ing Crazy?


If you are going through hell, keep going. 

Winston Churchill 

Before bed 1 night Ninja texted me "How is it going?"

I sent him a picture with the words 

My Trip...




Yup, that about sums it up.


Let's get something out of the way. I had a WONDERFUL visit with my family. They were exceptional hosts, the weather was amazing and we did so many things. I had the BEST visit with my Wpg Besty (although waaaaay too short) and I saw so many of my friends and family.


With that being said... my children sucked.


I am trying to be nice about this.


Believe me I have MANY other words that I could use to describe them. But I will stick with that description for now.

SBean was needy, screamy, wouldn't share, wouldn't eat, wouldn't sleep and just plain miserable with anyone other than me.


HBear... well, let me just say, wow. 


Wow. 


I cannot believe the evil looks, the nasty comments, the complete lack of respect for me and the rules.  I have always prided myself on my kids behavior. HBear has always been a delight. A little in your face but her manners and listening skills have always showed everyone what a wonderful little girl we have raised.


Not so on this trip.


They knew they had me. They knew,

1. They out numbered me.

2. I would resort to candy to get them to stop screaming in other peoples homes.

3. If they caused a big enough scene I would keep one on my hip and the other one completely entertained every moment of the waking hour.

They became little terrorists, giving me ultimatums and screaming until things went in the direction they wanted.

I do not negotiate with terrorists.

I have since tried to rationalize or at least understand, why?


OK so school has been out for over a month already. SBean is used to having me to herself all day. Since HBear has been out of school it has been a juggling act trying to keep each entertained, while packing and painting the house. yeaaaaaah, so they are both eager to gain my attention. OK so does that warrant an all out spiral into complete madness? 

I think not.


Ok so the night before we left SBean was running her very first fever. 38.8, maybe those nasty eye teeth are coming in? She likes it when I rub her gums. I even brought out the Tylenol a few times. Does that explain the shrill screaming that actually made my ears pop on many occasions?


I think not.


Sleeping in other people's homes can be tough. I get it. That first night tricked me. I thought they slept so well that this was going to a breeze.


BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


The girls woke up and they were just so happy to be out of the van and visiting family :) Uncle, Auntie and SweetPea were working and at daycare so we had the house to ourselves. Cochrane was our oyster :)



I had only been to Cochrane for my sister's wedding. I loved the quaint little town and we were excited to explore more of it. Our first stop was the candy store!


HBear was allowed to pick any candy she wanted so she picked a Whirley Pop :)


We went for walk to find a bakery in search of a blueberry muffin or something for SBean. There was this cute little store that sold antique teapots called Tea and other Things where we got a huge wedge of apple cake.





We decided to go looking for the visitor center to collect some pamphlets about Cochrane for HBear's summer journal.

As we walked down the street HBear licked her Whirley Pop and chatted. Then she stopped on the grass for a minute right in front of this house. I leaned down to give SBean something and then I heard an intense shrill scream. It was HBear like I've never heard her before. She just stood there with an open mouth, terrified and screaming, breathe, screeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmmm, breathe...

She was standing on the largest anthill I've ever seen in my life! The entire lawn was moving!!! At that moment they were all going for her Whirley Pop!

I pulled her off the grass and started swatting the ants off of her as she sat and screamed and screamed and screamed. She was terrified. In fact that night she came out of bed twice crying about the ants that were all over her LOL I know I shouldn't laugh but I learned a lot this trip and one thing that I for sure learned was,

I will not be winning the mother of the year award any time soon...

So I can laugh.

There weren't a TON of ants on her but still it was pretty creepy.

Hey Cuz can I see that?
Yoink
Hey look at my new toy, you like it?
The next day we decided to go to Cross Iron Mills. It's a mall, a real mall! This is big for someone that comes from a small town and Walmart is our biggest store.

Of course we made it through two stores before SBean was screaming so loudly and shaking so profusely that we had to take her out of the mall. 

Next.

The next hour and a half we drove around Calgary so that SBean could maybe sleep it off...


The only way she would calm down was if I held her hand, awe cute... at first!
and then we went to the Calgary Farmers Market.

Oh the food :)


I had a Winnipeg bagel with egg salad and it all it was delicious. A bit too much dill but on the whole it was really good.
We got there late in the afternoon lol




They had a kids play area which was perfect for them to run off some steam!



Auntie got HBear a glitter tattoo.



She chose a heart with 2 dolphins?!?!?


When we got home we went for a walk. My sister and BIL's new house is on the Bow River like their backyard is the Bow River?!?! I mean the walk is beautiful it's such a breathtaking view they are so lucky to live someplace so scenic and natural :)




Yep that's popcorn for dinner! :)




That night was the one of the worst sleeps of my entire life.

My cousin came for a visit and we had some wine and sat chatting until 1 o'clock in the morning, when I came to bed I woke SBean in the playpen at the foot of my bed I was sharing with HBear. She screamed and cried and jumped until I let her out.

Big big mistake.

My head became her new trampoline as she flopped backwards not caring if there was a nose in the way or anything else and all the while she's having her way on my head HBear was sleeping peacefully right beside us.

And by peacefully I mean sweating and drooling everywhere.

Seriously. It was quite hot upstairs as the temperatures in Cochrane got quite warm that week and nobody there has air-conditioning whhhhaaaatttt? So, it was very warm in our bedroom and HBear loves cuddling and she drools puddles and she's going to be so mad at me when she reads this later on but sleeping her was very... wet lol.

By 4 o'clock in the morning SBean was still up and she was plucking my eyelids to see if they would open... or perhaps she was wondering if they would actually come off my face? She was pulling that hard. If they didn't she would use her thumbs to try to push the eyeballs out of my head on the other side.

When she stood up and started doing bum drops and missed the bed and took a tumble off the side my first thought was how many seconds can I get to sleep before she can get back on the bed?

Omg I am the worst mother ever.

But in my defense it's carpeted and the bed is very low to the ground... I know, worst mother ever.

So. after that I put her back in the playpen to let her scream it out. I justified it by saying it was Saturday tomorrow and nobody works anyway so everybody can sleep in if they lose an hour of sleep while she screams in the playpen *Groan*

It didn't really matter how I justified it because 2.6 seconds later she was back on my face.

She crawled out of the playpen and I no longer had that option.

She finally tuckered herself out around 6:15.

After a nice breakfast we went a-visiting. 

We visited Ninjas Aunts and had a great time! The kids actually behaved themselves there :) Granted they put out snacks like grapes, cheese and raisin bread. I'm pretty sure SBean mumbled "can I move in?" in between mouthfuls lol





Well we were out visiting this was happening in Winnipeg. 



This was happening to my Winnipeg Besty that was set to arrive right after our visit with Ninja's Aunts.

We said goodbye and we were off to the airport. As we are driving I get a text saying "our flight has been canceled" :( 

Winnipeg was getting hammered by storms leaving my Winnipeg Besty's power line down and flights were grounded.

By this time it was raining in Calgary too so we went to this Super Awesome waterpark.



See that thing on the right in the picture down below? The big elephant head in the palm tree fills up with water and then tips over. We did not know this and guess who was standing under the elephant? Yes, yours truly got soaked as soon as we got there!





HBear had so much fun on the small slide that Auntie took her down the big slide...


The tube waterslide was so dark and so scary she was done with the the activity center of the waterpark very quickly. BAHAHAHA 


So we headed to the wave pool.  I didn't realize how strong those waves were! I was sitting there trying to hold SBean while waves hammered me. I felt like I was underwater for more time than I was above. The water kept  going up my nose, in my mouth and over my head. It just kept on going as I held SBean and tried to keep my eyes open and keep her head out of the water. every once in a while I caught glimpses of my sister and BIL standing above me pointing, laughing and videotaping while I practically drowned BAHAHAHAHA what Assholes LOL!!!!!!


So after that debacle we went somewhere a bit more manageable, the hot tub.




Mmmmmm pizza :)
HBear trying to use her negotiating "skills" on Uncle lol



HBear working on her journal before bed

That night SweetPea went in the playpen and SBean took her crib.... Until we heard a massive thud during her "I'm gonna scream this whole bloody house down if you don't get me the hell outta here!" tantrum. I raced upstairs and swung open the door, hitting her in the beaner in the process. The little Monkey had crawled right on out of that crib! OMG what was I going to do now????

My BIL came up with a great idea, we used SweetPea's sleepsack so she would be unable to use her legs to climb up and over the crib railing, as she was already on the lowest setting... thank goodness that worked for the rest of our time there :)

But still, come on? Seriously?

The next day my Winnipeg Besty's flight got delayed again in the morning so we hung out in the backyard and went on a walk.






My aunt, uncle and my cousins hosted a beautiful dinner that evening and I even got to eat it as one of my cousins held SBean well I quickly scarfed down my food so that she could have her dinner, at this point I realized things were completely out of hand and SBean was actually Stewie in disguise.










After dinner we went to the airport and picked up my Winnipeg Besty and her oldest daughter!!!! 

But that's a story for another night...

On a side note... BC is on fire :( The wildfires are getting closer and closer. 

What would YOU take if you were evacuated? Off the top of my head I would take:

The girls memory boxes
My external hard drive
My Mom's ashes
Ninja and I's Love box (our memory box)
and my silk


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