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Life's blows cannot break a person whose spirit is warmed at the fire of enthusiasm. ~ Norman Vincent Peale

Right over left and under… left over right and under.

Every Tuesday night for 3 years my Mom repeated that saying to me. If anyone out there was a Brownie, you know what I am talking about. The dreaded tie lol

Tonight I had to do up HBear’s tie and all I could hear was my Mom’s voice in my head saying “Right over left and under… left over right and under.” I miss her. On the way to Sparks we were listening to Meatloaf’s Paradise by the Dashboard Light LOL My Mom loved that song. Here I was pulling out of the driveway doing double snaps singing on the top of my lungs while HBear rocked it out behind me.

It was the picture of my childhood. LOL The snapping really solidified it lol I super miss her. You would think things like this would make me smile!

But, actually they make me have a huge lump in my throat and it actually hurts to hold back the tears. It has been almost 7 months, when does that go away?

Ninja and I broke up many times before we came together for keeps.

In the first 6 years it was a very on/off again relationship. During this time I shed my fair amount of tears.

I feel like my Mother’s death is a breakup… a very BAD breakup...

like she won’t pick up the phone 

and listen to my plea.

You want to know what the hardest part of Christmas was?

My Christmas wish.

Every year when we hang our special ornament we make a special wish. You know because magical things happen at Christmas. The only wish I had was… well I don’t want to say it.

I don’t want to say it because it can never come true. I feel like miracles aren’t real. Magic isn’t real anymore. So I don’t want to wish it and be disappointed… because it is impossible. So this was the first year I didn’t make a wish. My heart only wanted one thing so I couldn’t honestly settle on… world peace or something J

OK enough wallowing J

This cough is Effed up! I haven’t slept in 3 days. All I do is cough. Ninja went to the pharmacy and explained my situation, breastfeeding, and he came home with a homeopathic… throat… ease… thing. It sucked.

So I cough. All night. All day, but mostly all night. I feel ok. I mean besides the headache, sore throat, back ache and abs that feel like they are on fire… all due to the fact that, I cough all the time.


So today was SBean’s first music class! Dad got her this for Christmas and we had a BLAST! She was very reserved. She watched everyone and sat quietly. SHOCKER! I love the teacher and it seems to be a great program!

Note her face of bruises and the rug burned nose!! OMG! What people must think?!?! She doesn't slow down she just GOES! Full speed. OMG Sit back down!

Seriously, when she stood for the first time a friend said "did you push her? Gently of course but Dear you push that girl right back down!" LOL

Heather you were so right! She just motors and FALLS and gets right back up yells at the floor and keeps going! I took a quiz tonight about what city I was really meant to live in ... You know on FaceBook,

Whatever people, 

So what... I read 17 and YM and LIVED for those quizzes.

I have watched the Ballerina girl, I am right brained but can see it go both ways lol.

I am the color orange.

My Husband is Nerdy Chic.

Yaddy Yaddy Yah. I realize I am killing braincells as I do this but I am such a sucker...

The POINT is LOL She would be NYC. Full speed ahead! Determined! And TOUGH!

As soon as I got home it was off to HBear’s school for Hot Lunch. Every week I help the ladies out. Today was Pizza Day! 

After lunch I had to do what I had been putting off for weeks. I had to sew on HBear’s Sparks badges!


Thank God my Aunt called and walked me through the whole knot thing! Jebus sewing is tough. After I explained to her my ineptitude in the art of sewing, she suggested using my machine, you know letting it do it for me! Thank you! Success!

Well... if this is what success looks like LOL


When HBear got home and looked at it she said “Wow! Mommy you are the best sewer in the whole world. You are the Beast Mommy Ever” and I got a huge hug. Hell, I will poorly sew anything you want for that kind of love J

So after that Ninja’s Mom and Dad came over to put up the safety gate he made. 

We live on 1 level so I have never had the need for a babygate. BUT, SBean is now a walker!!!! The other day I didn’t hear her for a second so I ran into the girl’s bedroom. Not in there. I looked everywhere. No where. Frantic I ran back into their bedroom screaming her name. HBear looked up from her book and said not in here Mommy.

And then I heard “Daddy”. The only word SBean can say. I looked up and she had crawled the steps up to HBear’s loft!!!!! HEART ATTACK! I told you about HBear's awesome bed a while back, you can see it at the beginning HERE!

So I asked my super talented F-I-Law to make a gate 3 days ago and presto!

Fabulous! THANK YOU SO MUCH! I used Duct Tape for the rails to prevent slivers J

So that’s it. No recipes. No crafts. Just wha wah woe is me and look at my crazy cool kids! LOL Good night!


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