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I can’t sing, I can’t paint and I can’t write how I feel, so all I have left is poop to express myself. - Bobby Caputo

There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents, and only one for birthday presents, you know. - Lewis Carroll

Always look on the bright side of life. - Eric Idle: Monty Python’s Life of Brian

“I wrote a song about dental floss but did anyone's teeth get cleaner?” - Frank Zappa

Ever since Eve started it all by offering Adam the apple, woman's punishment has been to supply a man with food then suffer the consequences when it disagrees with him. - Helen Rowland

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